Author: Selina Rose

A holistic nutritionist, writer, non-granola yogi, and coach dedicated to helping you find sustainability in your health so you can play full-out in life (whatever that looks like for you).

The Secret to Having More Time and Happiness

Every woman I’ve talked to in the last 6 years of my coaching practice has said they want same thing… more time and to be happier.

Of course, they might not come right out and say it. For one woman, it’s more time with her kids and to feel excitement about life like she used to. For another, it’s having her weekdays match up with her to-do list so she’s not exhausted and can find time to catch up with her girlfriends on the weekend.

I bet there’s a version of this for you too.

Time, or having enough of it, used to be a source of constant stress in my life. Afternoon appointments would mean anxiety in the morning because I was always worried I’d get into the creative flow of things and miss my meeting. I’ve had to dig deep into my relationship with time and learn some tools to help me better manage things.

One of the biggest changes I’ve made is how I think about time.

Have you ever heard the saying “don’t let the future steal your present?” This means that anticipation of what’s coming up can rob you of your ability to be present here and now.

Mindfulness is the practice of being present in the moment. It’s one of the key components of meditation, which allows your mind and body to slow down and focus on the present.

You don’t have to sit still on a meditation cushion to be mindful though.

I’ve taught many of my clients how to be more mindful, which involves practicing how to be more present in the moment in anything you’re doing. Mindfulness is adopting a mental attitude of living in the now.

Two very important things happen when you live in the present – your perception of time changes and you feel happier and more at peace.

Let’s look at those two in more detail.

Your mind controls your perception of time

Imagine that you’re on vacation having an amazing dinner with your closest friends. Everyone is laughing and having a great time and then the thought comes into your mind “I don’t want this to end.” A little time passes and another thought pops in “our week is almost over and soon I’ll be heading back to work.”

This type of thinking steals your joy in the moment and it steals your time. You’re taking yourself out of the moment you’re enjoying and mentally projecting that you’re in the future.

It’s tempting to wish time away when you’re looking forward to something exciting. But any time you focus your attention on what’s to come, you miss out on what’s happening right now in front of you.

Mindfulness is a mental habit that you build through practice. If you don’t practice staying present before an exciting event, it will be harder for you to live in the present while the thing is happening.

That’s when you find your special event to be quickly over and done and you wonder where the time went.

You are in control of your experience of time. Whether you realize it or not, the way you think about your time has a lot to do with how time feels to you.

A hug from a loved one can seem like it’s over too soon, while an elevator ride can seem like an eternity when you’re in a rush – yet both lasted the same amount of time.

Future thoughts don’t allow you to be present and soak up as much as you can out of each moment. It’s true that your vacation will eventually end, or the thing you’re excited about will arrive, but you’ll find yourself better able to enjoy the good moments if you savor the time leading up to them.

Happiness lives in the present

The benefits of mindfulness are plentiful. People who live in the moment tend to be happier, more calm, relaxed and experience a deeper sense of gratitude.

When you bring your awareness into the present moment, you have greater access to awareness of your thoughts, emotions and sensations in your body. Tuning in on this level brings you in touch with yourself and increases the likelihood of having your needs met, because you’re aware of what they are.

Living in the moment allows you to mentally slow down. Just like minimalist design brings a greater sense of ease and peace to a room, a focus on what’s happening in the moment will bring you greater satisfaction in anything you do.

When you live in the moment, you participate fully in life and can make the most of what’s happening around you.

A deeper experience of life opens up when you stop mentally rushing or wishing time away – one that will give you more time and greater happiness.

How to Have More Time for Yourself

I used to do this thing where I’d go out of my way and sacrifice my needs to help my friends and family.

I wanted them to feel taken care of, supported and loved (still do!). But what I found after a while of putting everyone else first, was that my stuff was always on the back-burner…

I’d have hectic weeks because I said yes to something on the weekend and lost my meal prep time.

I’d stay on the phone during my workday for an hour with a friend in need, and end up having to work late.

I love my people, but something had to give because I was always left holding the bag – MY bag, with all the things I needed to do for myself in it.

Recently I did a Facebook Live where I talked about the 3 important realizations that I had about how to make more time for yourself. Check it out here….

Here are some things I learned about how to make more time for myself:

  1. When I’m clear on my priorities, it’s easier to say yes/no to other things because I know what I need to dedicate my time to.
  1. Efficiency saves the day – I’ve learned to double up on my time by taking walking meetings or planning my work tasks around the errands I need to run.
  1. Usually, things can be done faster. Rather than giving myself a whole Sunday to accomplish housework, if I condense the task into 2 hours in the evening I can usually get it all done in that time, leaving more time for something else.

A note on perfectionism – in learning to make myself a priority I’ve had to let go of some perfectionist tendencies. To be honest, I don’t think I realized I was being a “perfectionist” about things, I just lived by this internal set of rules that I held myself accountable to. It wasn’t until I started feeling overwhelmed by the amount I’d need to do to keep up with all my personal expectations that I realized it was a bit much. So, I slowly started to loosen the grip on some things…

For example, I used to pressure myself to show up “professionally” at all my meetings. It became overwhelming to try to balance a full meeting schedule and get my daily workouts in, or teach yoga. Considering I live my life in yoga clothes (I’m either coming from or on my way to the studio) I’ve decided it’s ok to take business meetings in my yoga clothes.

Now I book my meetings right after a yoga class at the cafe next door. My colleagues understand that I’m prioritizing my wellness and respect me for it. I’ve come to respect myself for it too because it’s one way I prioritize my health vs stressing over superficial details.

So, if you find yourself suffocating underneath the expectations you’ve set for yourself, try loosening the grip a bit. If you do this and put the three tips above into practice, you might just find you have more time for yourself.

Adaptogens 101: Part of Natural Stress Management

If you haven’t heard of adaptoens, you’re in for a treat! This is one group of supplements that anyone can benefit from. Their name says it all – they help your body adapt to stress. Adaptogens work in a unique way, by helping you perk up or calm down, depending on what your body needs. They’re like the chameleons of the supplement world.

Read on to discover the different types of adaptogens and how they can support you.

You may hear the word ‘STRESS’ and immediately think of the mental and emotional aspects along the lines of feeling overwhelmed, overly busy, and/or anxious.

In reality, the body actually encounters different forms of stress every day and is always working to restore homeostasis (the body’s happy place, or natural equilibrium).

Your body is constantly being bombarded by stressors – even when you don’t feel stressed. In fact, you probably won’t feel stressed day-to-day from some of these ongoing sources of stress because your body is adept at dealing with them.

Here are some examples of common, daily stressors:

  • Exercise – yep, it’s good for you, but it’s a form of stress the body has to deal with!
  • Lack of sleep
  • Toxins – like exposure to environmental pollutants, heavy metals, and chemicals in personal care and cleaning products
  • Viruses/Colds
  • Anxiety – which can be caused by stress or exacerbates existing stress
  • Stimulation – in the form of light, screens, loud or constant noise and bombarding visuals
  • Negative thoughts – patterns of thinking that affect your emotions and body’s hormonal response

Decreasing stress is critical for good health. There are many effects of ongoing stress including: weight gain, poor digestion, increased inflammation, accelerated cellular aging, hormonal imbalances, including adrenal dysfunction – your adrenals are responsible for your body’s response to stress.

Good news – there are plenty of ways to reduce the impact of stress in your life, including:

  • Getting to bed before 10:30 pm and getting enough sleep
  • Keep up with a regular exercise routine
  • Eating a healthy, balanced diet full of whole foods
  • Consuming enough healthy fats to support your hormones
  • Practicing tried ‘n true stress relief techniques
  • Processing your emotions (through talking, journaling and personal reflection)
  • Yoga, meditation and other practices that calm your nervous system

But, if you’re looking for something to naturally supplement your diet with, in a way that can minimize the impact that daily stressors have on your body, you might want to consider adding an adaptogen (or two) to your health plan.

What are Adaptogens?

Adaptogens – or Adaptogenic Herbs – are plant-based supplements (usually in pill or powder form) that do just what they sound like: they can help your body adapt to the stressors of your personal environment.

Adaptogens have a long history of use in ancient medical practices, like TCM – Traditional Chinese Medicine and Ayurvedic practices.

Current research has found that Adaptogens boost mental function, attention span, and energy during times of stress and reduce the overall production of inflammatory stress hormones, like cortisol.

Here are 5 common adaptogens:

  • ASHWAGANDHA – decreases anxiety, calming effect
  • ASIAN GINSENG – decreases fatigue, calming effect
  • MACA – boosts energy levels, balances hormones
  • RHODIOLA ROSEA – boosts energy and immune system function
  • SCHISANDRA FRUIT – enhances energy and cognitive function

How do Adaptogens work?

The molecular pathways involved in the body’s stress response are complex.

The 3 glands responsible for regulating stress hormones:

  • Hypothalamus
  • Pituitary
  • Adrenals

These glands function in your body’s stress response. This is called the HPA axis which refers to the cascade of hormone secretion and effects that your body launches to cope with stress in your body.

Contrary to what you might think, your body’s stress response isn’t a bad thing. It’s actually a helpful, adaptive mechanism that supports you in living your best live. When you’re experiencing prolonged stress this healthy sequence of events can be disrupted (something called HPA Axis Dysfunction) which is when you’ll start seeing negative symptoms (like hormonal imbalance) resulting from stress.

Research has found Adaptogens help support these glands in achieving equilibrium or homeostasis – a fancy way of saying that they help stress hormones get back into balance.

Unlike caffeine, alcohol, and other drugs, Adaptogens can gently help reduce stress hormones, decrease anxiety levels, and prevent fatigue without any crazy spikes or crashes in energy.

How do you take Adaptogens – and are they safe?

Adaptogens are available in pill or powdered form, of which powders can easily be added to teas, smoothies, soups, and other recipes – see our recipe at the end!

The best part about these herbal supplements is that it’s not necessary to take every Adaptogen every day, and choosing just one to add to your routine can still provide health benefits.

It’s recommended to rotate between Adaptogens, using one at a time for several weeks and then switching to another, if desired, to reap the benefits of several varieties.

You should follow the dosing instructions on the product label or consult with a Natural Health Practitioner for specific Adaptogen recommendations related to the health conditions that you may be experiencing.

It’s important to note, though, that while most adaptogens are generally safe for nearly everyone, please supplement with awareness.

RECIPE

Maca Mocha Smoothie

Ingredients

¾ cup coconut or other dairy-free milk
¼ cup brewed coffee, cooled
1 banana, frozen in chunks
1 tsp maca powder (can work up to 2 tsp per day)
1 tsp – 1 Tb cacao powder, raw & unprocessed (non-Dutch)
Optional: 2 tsp raw cacao nibs

Preparation

Place all ingredients in a high-speed blender.

Blend until frothy and desired consistency.

Add in cacao nibs for last 10 seconds of blending for added texture. Crunch with benefits!

REFERENCES

Healthline: Adaptogenic Herbs: List, Effectiveness, and Health Benefits

Healthline: Smart Girl’s Guide to Adaptogens for Hormonal Balance and Stress

Annals of the New York Academy of Sciences, 2017: Understanding adaptogenic activity: specificity of the pharmacological action of adaptogens and other phytochemicals

Pharmaceuticals, 2010: Effects of Adaptogens on the Central Nervous System and the Molecular Mechanisms Associated with Their Stress—Protective Activity

3 BIG Mistakes When Trying to CALM a Racing Mind and What to Do instead (hint: it’s NOT meditation)

You’ve had a long day and you finally climb into bed. Just as you take a few deep breaths and your body starts to relax, your mind revs up with a long list of all the things you forgot to do.

Does this sound familiar?

One of the biggest frustrations I hear from my clients is that they can’t seem to shut their brain off when it’s time.

I know for myself when I tried to calm my racing thoughts I made some big mistakes that led me in the wrong direction and resulted in more frustration and wasted time. So, I’m going to save you all that and tell you what I do now instead.

I went through this myself and the first mistake I made, is I thought that having a busy and out of control mind was normal. I thought that this was just how it was for busy entrepreneurs and that this is something I’d have to deal with for the rest of my career.

Which led me to make a 2nd big mistake which was pushing through. Because I thought that having racing thoughts and a hard time concentrating was normal, I’d resolved to push on and grind through my work, even when I wasn’t feeling well mentally.

I thought that if I could just focus more, maybe block out some distractions that I’d be able to get my work done anyway. I’d will myself to sit at my desk and get my work done. But if you’ve ever tried to problem solve when you’re feeling scatter brained you know that’s just an exercise in frustration.

Pushing through when you really do need a break only increases the amount of stress on your body. It keeps you in the fight or flight side of your nervous system and makes your body more acidic and prone to disease and infection. This is not a good solution over time, and it doesn’t feel good in the moment either.

My 3rd mistake came when I decided to try to do something about my racing thoughts. This is where meditation came in. When I’d be feeling flustered and scatter brained on a busy day, I’d set a timer for 10 minutes and try to get myself to sit still and be quiet, thinking this would calm my mind.

If you’ve ever tried to go from 100 miles an hour down to 0, you know this is not easily done. I would end up fidgeting, focusing back on my to-do list and the mental spirals would start again. Only this time they’d feel worse because I tried to do something about it and failed.

Finally I realized I wasn’t honouring what my body needed in those moments. I realized that I had so much energy coursing through me and my mind was so active, I needed an outlet for that energy, rather than to try to settle it down. I needed to MOVE. So that’s what I’ve learned to do now instead.

When you’re having a day where you feel like your mind is going in a million different directions, give yourself permission to get up from your desk and move. It doesn’t have to be much, but taking a walk, stretching, or doing a few yoga poses would help.

Here’s why this works… mental energy is similar to pent up physical energy. When you keep it contained it’s going to feel like a lot of pressure. But when you allow that energy to release through movement you relieve that pressure and change your mental and emotional state.

Try getting up and moving your body the next time you’re feeling mentally overwhelmed and let me know how it works for you.

How to Handle a Massive To-Do List Without Feeling Like a Failure

I can still remember a time when my life felt like a game of whack a mole… I would knock one thing off my task list, only to have 2 more things pop up that I’m supposed to have done by the end of the day. I constantly felt on edge and anxious like my incomplete tasks were looming over me everywhere I’d go.

Does this sound familiar?

If it does, you probably know the guilt that comes with having a full to-do list and letting things fall through the cracks.

If you’re juggling a what feels like a never-ending to-do list and seem to always wind up feeling like a failure for not getting everything done, this video is for you…

Constantly feeling overwhelmed by your tasks, or like you don’t measure up because you can’t complete them all takes its toll on your emotional and physical wellbeing.

I remember thinking to myself, how is it that I can have a thriving career where I’ve helped hundreds of people take control of their health, published a book, have a great relationship with my friends and family, and be “successful” by most standards yet somehow still manage to feel like I was inadequate? I was wracking my brain thinking What could possibly be missing?

If any of this sounds familiar, you’re probably like me… you’ve tried to get super organized, plan ahead in calendars and read books on time management but nothing’s working.

We can’t manufacture more hours in the day, but it turns out we don’t have to. I’m going to share with you something I realized. It was a total game-changer for me.

Let me ask you this… What’s truly more important to you, getting all your tasks done each day, or the way you feel about yourself at the end of the day?

Probably a bit of both, but I’d guess that the way you feel at the end of the day really would outweigh whether all of the clean socks made it into the proper drawer. Am I right?

That’s because, a lot of the things we have on our to-do lists are not matters of life and death importance. You can always put the socks away in the morning. So why waste time and energy feeling like a failure because it wasn’t done today?

Here’s something to think about… whether or not you get all of your tasks done in a day doesn’t change the essence of who you are. Yet, when you base your self-worth on how much you do, instead of on who you are, you end up feeling inadequate. This is a recipe to come up short every time.

But, when you realize that who you are remains constant no matter how much you do, you can choose more powerfully where you’re going to show up.  Then you can feel good about the things you give your time an energy to.  Because you know that eventually you’ll make it to putting the laundry away, and that leaving it undone for a day or two doesn’t make you a bad person.

Now I know you might be thinking this is easier said than done. It does take effort and a plan. That’s why I created the 90 Days to CALM program to help you focus on what matters to you most and learn techniques to de-stress, even when the laundry isn’t folded and put away. It comes down to knowing your values and prioritizing them, which we talk about in the program.

To see if you’d be a good fit to join the CALM community, inquire by emailing hello@selinarose.ca so we can reach out to you with details.